GREAT NEWS!

Scientists at the University of Pennsylvania have apparently found a cure for baldness. University scientists removed small portions of the outer layer of skin from mice in an experiment. When the skin grew back, hair follicles sprouted new hair! That may be all very well if you’re a mouse, you might say, but the procedure could be used to restore hair to bald men.

Democratic candidate Dr. Carl Perrin naturally was interested in this scientific breakthrough. He realized that with no hair on the top of his head, even a $400 haircut wouldn’t make him look as good as John Edwards. But with this scientific advance, maybe he could compete in the hair department.

Perrin wants his supporters to know that it not vanity that leads to an interest in regrowing his hair. If he were not a candidate for the presidency of the United States, he would not care whether he had any hair at all. However, you may have noticed that almost all U. S. presidents have had lots of hair. The only bald president we can think of in the last 100 years is Eisenhower, and Eisenhower was a hero of World War II when he ran for office.

Perrin doesn’t have the advantage of being a war hero, so the hair question is important to him. Our question is, Would you vote for a bald non-hero for the presidency? Here’s another question: Would you vote for a bald-headed man who suddenly sprouted a full head of hair?

This is important. Please add a comment so that Perrin will know what to do in this important issue.