Saturday, February 17, 2018



How long are we going to let the NRA hold Congress hostage?
   Any member of Congress who promotes or even votes for common sense gun control laws will be met at the next election by the NRA. The gun lobby will do its best to prevent such Congress members from being elected. At the same time, the NRA will contribute some of its blood money to the reelection campaign of candidates who vote against gun control measures.
   What we need is anti-NRA lobby. A group that will use the NRA tactics against it. A group that will come to the defense of the Congress members who support reasonable gun control and attack those who vote against gun control.
   We need to act now. We need to harness the grief and anger created by the latest outrage. We need to force the do-nothing Congress to act before more American school children are murdered.

Sunday, February 11, 2018






GENIUS
            A lot of people snickered when Donald Trump proclaimed himself to be a genius. But recently we have seen just how clever the man really is. With his unconventional hair style, it has seemed that he has enough hair to cover two heads, at least.
            A recent photo, however, show the Donald boarding Air Force One. As the wind blew away his carefully coiffed dome, we could see a vast bald spot on the back of his head.
            This is how we know he is a genius. With the vast area of his head follicle free, the man has created the illusion that he has more hair than God. But here is the really brilliant touch: To hide the embarrassing bald spot, he combs his hair foreword and then covers the spot by combing over it from the sides. Combing forward is counterintuitive, and it shows how intellectually clever he is.
            New Jersey socialite Carl Perrin reluctantly admits that Trump has inspired him. If Donald can cover his bald spot with a few clever strokes, might Perrin be able to use similar tactics to conceal his follicle embarrassment?
            The entire top of Perrin’s head is as naked as a new-mown field, so he would have to use a slightly different tactic. What Perrin has in mind is to part his hair on both sides and then comb the remaining hair up and over on both sides. Then he would hold it in place with some super heavy-duty hair splay. Do you think that would work? Let us know.




Saturday, November 11, 2017

I am thrilled to know that the Russians didn’t interfere with the Presidential election. Donald Trump has Putin’s word for it. If you don’t believe Putin, you can certainly believe Donald Trump, can’t you?

Thursday, May 18, 2017

OPEN LETTER TO REPUBLICAN MEMBERS OF CONGRESS


Writing in the Washington Post, Richard Cohen called Donald Trump “intellectually, temperamentally, and morally unfit to be President of the United States.

Stephen Stromberg called him “dangerously incompetent.”

Anne Applebaum referred to Trump’ “willful ignorance, impulsiveness, and inexperience.”

The Washington Post editorial boards wrote that Trump “can’t be trusted with sensitive information.”

James Clapper, former Director of National Defense, stated that “our institutions are under assault internally.” [by the President]

Former CIA Director Michael Hayden said, “Trump proves that he’s Russia’s ‘useful tool.’”

It is not only liberals who are worried about Trump’s danger to the country and our system of government.

Conservative writer Ross Douthat said, “Maybe it’s time for the 25th.” (The 25th Amendment to the Constitution would enable the government to remove the President from office if he is “unable to discharge the powers and duties of his office.”)

Another conservative writer, Jennifer Rubin, said that Trump is “so inept and unfit that national security is at risk.”

Rubin also wrote, “Unfortunately for all these reasons, the current crew may be the best staff Trump an ever assemble. What the country really needs is a new president, not new functionaries.”

One GOP figure wondered privately about whether Trump was “in the grip of some kind of paranoid delusion.”

Mike Gallagher, a Republican congressman, tweeted, “Our allies and partners must have the utmost confidence that sensitive information they share with us will not be disclosed.”

Barbara Comstock, another Republican member of Congress, stated, “Once again we are faced with inexplicable stories coming from the White House that are highly troubling.”

Republican Senator Bob Corker stated, “The chaos that is being created by the lack of discipline is creating an environment that I think makes—it creates a worrisome environment.”

A former aide to Presidents Nixon and Clinton, David Gergen, said, “We’re in impeachment territory.”

Senator John McCain called the situation “Watergate size and scale.”

The Republican leadership in Congress of course is aware of Trump’s unfitness to be President. Unfortunately, through cynicism or naiveté or both, they are willing to put up with the President’s shortcomings because they believe they can use him to achieve their legislative goals.

They are wrong.

Donald Trump is not only a danger to the country and to democracy; he is a danger to the Republican Party.

Throughout the Obama administration, Republicans complained about his health care act, but they never had an alternative.

And they still don’t.

Trump and the Republicans in Congress wanted to get a new health care act in place during his first 100 days in office. He sent Bannon over to try to bully Republicans in Congress into voting for the act. (You remember Bannon, don’t you? I wonder why we haven’t heard much about him lately.) As we all know, the House did not vote on the proposed act. The “Freedom Caucus” wouldn’t vote for it because it wasn’t bad enough. So much for the Donald’s great negotiating skills.

The revised bill was even worse, but it just barely passed in the house after one day’s consideration. Many, probably most, of the members of Congress who voted for it, didn’t know what was in it. Now Republican members of Congress are afraid to meet their constituents because the People keep yelling at them over their votes on healthcare. The People will remember those votes in November next year. Trump didn’t really get behind the bill. He doesn’t understand it, and the only thing he really cares about is the promotion of the Great Glory of Donald.

Every day Democrats get new ammunition for the 2018 election. Washington cannot focus on any issue until “the Russian thing” is cleared up. Trump isn’t going to help the GOP. But if it stands by him, the GOP has everything to lose, including one, possibly both houses of Congress next year.




Saturday, April 1, 2017

THE WORST JOB IN THE WORLD





The worst job in the world has to be press secretary for Donald Trump. Day after day poor Sean Spicer has to get up and try to paper over lies so outrageous that they would make Baron Munchausen blush.   What’s worse is that poor Sean is appallingly unsuited for the job. What you would need for the job at the very least is a sense of humor, which poor Sean doesn’t seem to have.

Edwin Edwards has the ideal personality for Sean Spicer’s job. Edwards served one term as a congressman from Louisiana, four terms as governor, and eight years as an inmate in a federal prison for corruption. Edwards is larger than life and full of joie de vivre. 

He said of an opponent in the election of 1983: "David Treen is so slow it takes him an hour and a half to watch 60 Minutes." In the election of 1992, his opponent was David Duke, a leader of the Klan. Edwards said of Duke: "The only thing we have in common is we’re both wizards under the sheets." In the election someone charged him, married at the time, with sleeping with six difference women in one night. He replied: "No, it wasn't that way. He (the author) was gone when the last one came in." 

Recently a voter came up to him and said, “I hate Democrats, but I’m voting for you,” the woman said. “All y’all steal. But you were honest about it. You were gambling, you said you were gambling. You didn’t sneak around, hide nothing. You never took from the taxpayers, just from the fat cats.” Asked why Louisiana voters seem so willing to forgive Edwards his past transgressions, the woman said, “Well, he’s one of us.” Then she hugged Trina [Edwards’ 35-year-old wife], imploring, “Don’t let this weasel get away.”

Anyway, Edwards isn’t going to take a job working for Trump. At 86 he thinking of running for Congress again.

Friday, March 17, 2017

MICROWAVE CONSPIRACY



We have just learned that before he left the White House, President Obama had a microwave installed. This was not just a device to warm up a cup of coffee or cook a frozen dinner. This baby could spy on anyone in the White House and send its observations back to people who might be conspiring against a future White House resident.

The microwave could be configured not only to hear any conversation its target might be part of, but it could also read the target’s mind. The FBI and the Department of Justice both deny the presence of this extraordinary microwave or any device that can eavesdrop on people in the building. However, for all we know, these agencies might be part of the conspiracy.


Our sources tell us that the conspirators now have plans to introduce a new toaster into the President’s residence. It would be able to gather information and send it out through WiFi signals. This is a serious issue. With this new spyware, the conspirators would be able to find out how many pieces of toast the President has each morning, but also how he likes his bread toasted.

Monday, March 13, 2017

ROBOTS



Retired professor Carl Perrin of Lakewood, NJ, has become the Garden’s State’s foremost expert on robots. Ask him anything about robots, and he will give you an answer. If he doesn’t know the answer, he will make up some plausible-sounding alternate fact.

Some people who know him are worried. What is he going to do with all that information about robot? One theory is that he is planning to use robots in the next election. Yes, even though he will be 90 on Election Day, some people fear that he will make one last effort to become President of the United States.

According to the theory, Perrin will enlist hordes of robots to campaign for him, sending emails and tweets to voters. They will also knock on doors to get out the vote for a really, really senior candidate.

Our advice is: Keep an eye on Perrin. You never know what he might be up to.