Saturday, April 30, 2016

An Interview with former Presidential Candidate Carl Perrin



Yes, I have a major regret, said Perrin, getting right to the point. I should have taken the campaign more seriously from the beginning. The problem with this presidential election is that there have been no good candidates on either side. Trump is a liar and a bully. He lacks the gravitas and the temperament to be president. He has no policy plans except his ego. In the beginning a lot of people thought that his campaign was a joke, but no one is laughing now.  It seems that he most likely will capture the Republican nomination.

Cruz is one of the most disliked politicians ever, and no one hates him more than his Republican colleagues. The former Republican Speaker of the House called Cruz a miserable son of a bitch, the devil in the flesh. Cruz has taken the unusual step of naming a running mate even though he cannot gain the nomination unless there is a brokered convention. His running mate, Carly Fiorina, isn’t much better liked than the Texas Senator. As CEO of HP computer company, she ran the business almost into the ground until she was booted. Before she was booted out, she cut thousands of jobs from HP.

Ohio governor John Kasich doesn’t seem too bad. He has political experience as congressman and governor. He is well liked in the Buckeye State. He looks especially good in comparison to Trump and Cruz. But he has garnered only a handful of delegates, compared to his two rivals, who each have hundreds.

Really, things don’t look much better on the Democratic side. Bernie Sanders has attracted an enthusiastic following. A lot of people like his ideas about taking more from the rich and creating benefits like free college for everyone. The problem is it seems more and more unlikely that he would ever be able to bring these ideas to fruition. Further, in interviews with the New York Post, he seemed unprepared, uninformed even about issues relating to the big banks that he would like to bring down.

There is no doubt that Hillary Clinton is the most competent and most qualified to do the job. However, while she is not as disliked at Trump or Cruz, a lot of people dislike her. She admits that she is not a natural politician, but she has a politician’s manner of evading painful questions. A lot of people just don’t trust her. Barack Obama was held in check by a Republican Congress who did everything they could to abort anything he tried. Congress seemed to have no regard to what would be good for the country. If Obama was for it, they would block it. If she is elected, Hillary can expect the same lack of cooperation from Republicans in Congress.

The upshot is, no matter which of these characters become the next president, a lot of people are going to be unhappy. Perrin feels sorry for the next president, no matter who it is. The country is going to be in a mess, trying to recover from the wounds that have been opened in this brutal election.

While Perrin regrets not getting into this year’s presidential campaign, there still is hope. At 90 Perrin will still be young enough to run for the presidency in 2020. After the disaster that the next president is sure to face, the voters of America will be happy to see a candidate who will bring common sense and mature judgment to the political scene.



   

Friday, January 15, 2016

singular they

Singular "they," the gender-neutral pronoun, has been named the Word of the Year by the American Dialect Society this month. For example, "If anyone has a better idea, they’re welcome to try it."

It has been a long time since I was in high school, but it’s not true that dinosaurs were still around during my teenage years. However, I was taught to say, "If anyone has a better idea, he is welcome to try it." Such locutions, I admit, are now almost as out of date as tyrannosaurus rex.

Constructions like, "Everyone has to do their best for the team to win," started popping up on my students’ papers in the seventies. I used gallons of red ink correcting these sentences. I told my students that while such sentences might be  politically correct, they were grammatically incorrect, because “everyone” is singular, and “their” is plural. Like many of the causes I have defended in my lifetime, this was a losing battle.

By the eighties and nineties, I knew I was going to lose, and I admitted that to my students, but I continued to urge them not to commit sins of grammar in writing. Then I found myself once in a while saying things like, "Everyone is entitled to their own opinion." When such sentences popped out of my mouth, I would say “oops,” and hope the grammar police had not heard me.


Now the American Dialect Society says it’s all right to use “they” as a gender-neutral pronoun. The Washington Post has adopted it in their style guide. I guess it’s okay to say, "Everyone looked out for their own interests." It’s okay, but I don’t think it will sound right to me. Everyone will do whatever they want anyway.

Saturday, January 9, 2016

Help Inhofe Make America Great Again

Senator James Inhofe of Oklahoma, one of the intellectual heavyweights of the Republican Party, walked onto the Senate floor last February, carrying a snowball. With this act he brilliantly proved that global warming is just another liberal hoax.

He would like to repeat the snowball act this year, but he hasn’t been able to find any snow around Washington. You have to be sorry for the poor guy. Like Prufrock, Inhofe has seen the moment of his greatness flicker.


You can help this poor man. If there is any snow where you are, take a few moments to make a snowball and mail it to him. Help Inhofe (and Trump) make America Great again.

Thursday, January 7, 2016

Natural-born Citizen



Let’s all pile on Ted Cruz. Jon McCain, Ann Coulter, and of course, the Donald have all begun to question whether Cruz is eligible to be president of the United States because he was born in Canada, although his parents were naturalized American citizens.


Former presidential candidate Dr. Carl Perrin is not offended by everyone ganging up on Cruz. It couldn’t happen to a more deserving guy. However, Perrin is worried. If Ted cannot claim American citizenship by virtue of being born to American citizens, what does that mean for Perrin? Carl Perrin is the mirror image of Ted Cruz. He was born in Massachusetts to Canadian citizens. If—Heaven forbid!—Donald Trump is elected President of the United States, Perrin wants at least the comfort of knowing he would be welcomed as a citizen if he chose to move to Canada.

Saturday, December 12, 2015

PREDICTION

PREDICTION

The next president of the United States will be a Democrat, and for that the Democrats can thank Donald Trump. No matter how the political campaigns go over the next 11 months, Trump will play a major role in the Republican camp, and whatever the outcome for the GOP, the Democrats will come out ahead on Election Day.

Even though he has been held a strong lead in national polls for months, the Republican leadership is desperate to push him out of first place, resorting to a brokered convention if necessary. If the convention opens with Trump holding a plurality of the votes, the electors representing those ballots will be legally bound to vote for him on the first ballot only. On subsequent ballots the electors can vote for anyone they want. The situation opens itself up to three possible scenarios, all of which would lead to a Democratic victory in the general election.

SCENARIO ONE
Trump arrives at the convention with a majority of votes or is able to overcome opposition at the convention and become the Republican candidate. His support comes primarily from older white males with limited education. Twenty-six percent of Republicans have negative feelings about him. Many GOP leaders have said that Trump does not represent Republican or even American values. Most of them, no doubt, like Paul Ryan, will hold their noses and vote for him. However, the Donald will not gather enthusiastic support from the Republican party.

The reality show star cannot expect much support outside of his core followers. He has insulted each of his rivals for the Republican nomination. He has alienated huge groups with his put-downs and gratuitous insults. Fifty-nine percent of the American public has negative feelings about him. If he runs, the Democratic candidate will win the election and possibly win both the House and the Senate at the same time.

SCENARIO TWO
The Republican establishment is able to deny Trump the nomination. In revenge he runs as third-party candidate. In such a case Trump would get votes from people who would otherwise vote for the Republican candidate. Result: a win for the Democrats.

SCENARIO THREE

Trump does not win the nomination and for whatever reasons decides not to run as a third-party candidate. He has been in the leading position for so long that his core followers will still feel that he has been cheated of his rightful prize. Those mendacious Washington politicians, along with the lamestream media swindled the Donald. His core will not then vote for Democrats. Heaven forbid! They will just stay home on Election Day and throw the election to the Democratic candidate, whoever he or she is.

Sunday, November 29, 2015

WHO IS THIS?

His primary rules were: never allow the public to cool off; never admit a fault or wrong; never concede that there may be some good in your enemy; never leave room for alternatives; never accept blame; concentrate on one enemy at a time and blame him for everything that goes wrong; people will believe a big lie sooner than a little one; and if you repeat it frequently enough people will sooner or later believe it.

Do you recognize the person being described here? Are you sure? No, it is not that crude loudmouth who has been going around insulting everyone with apparent impunity. It is the psychological profile drawn up by the OSS of Adolf Hitler.


And yet ignorant people continue to support this man. He is still leading in the polls of candidates for the Republican nomination. I am beginning to worry.

Saturday, November 21, 2015

WHAT CAN YOU BELIEVE?


Breitbart News reported that eight Syrians were apprehended as they tried to cross the border from Mexico into Texas. It was enough for Texas Governor Greg Abbot to vow to prevent any Syrian refugees from entering into Texas. Donald Trump speculated that the Syrians might be members of ISIS. The attempted infiltration showed the need to build a “big, beautiful wall,” Trump added. People who read “news” article like this are likely to picture eight terrorists trying to sneak into America where they can create carnage like that which happened in Paris. We can almost see eight young Middle Eastern men like those who killed 129 people in France.
Part of any news story is what is omitted. What the Breitbart report omitted is that these eight Syrians were made up of two families, two men, two women, and four children. To say that they were apprehended suggests that they were caught trying to sneak across the border. In fact they were not “caught.” They presented themselves to border agents as they sought asylum in the United States.

Did Breitbart leave these things out because he was ignorant of the facts, or did he deliberately leave them out to distort what really happened?