Sunday, June 28, 2015


After President Obama sang “Amazing Grace” during his eulogy to the victims of the Charleston shooting, Senator Ted Cruz decided to sing during a campaign stop in Iowa. During his speech the senator broke into “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.”

As he sang, his voiced cracked, and his eyes welled up with tears. The song was followed by 30 seconds of awkward silence. According to sources, Cruz was moved to tears by the Supreme Court’s decision to make gay marriage legal throughout the country.

A spokesperson for the senator denied the allegation that Cruz knew his political career was on the rocks, and he wanted to showboat his talent as a singer. However, if there are any talent agents out there who are interested, they can get in touch with Cruz through his campaign headquarters.

Sunday, June 21, 2015


Ted Cruz is a really funny guy. While Joe Biden was mourning the death of his son, Cruz chose to make a joke about the Vice President. Now, just days after a racist shot nine black people in a church in Charleston, South Carolina, Cruz was in Iowa making jokes about gun control.

What is wrong with that guy? He has the sensitivity of a cockroach.

Friday, June 19, 2015


I used to worry about a lot of stuff, but now my worries are over, thanks to two surprising sources.

  1. North Korea has discovered the cure for MERS, Ebola, SARS and AIDS. North Korea gets a bad rap, but if they can cures disease like those, they must be doing something right.
  2. Good jobs have been hard to find for a while, but now Donald Trump tells us that he will be the greatest jobs president that God ever created. Wow! It’s hard to beat that.

Anyway it looks as though Trump and North Korea have a future. Clearly together they will be able to solve all the problems of the world.

Tuesday, June 9, 2015


Who is the worst governor in the United States? That’s a tough question. There are so many from which to choose. For example, college-dropout Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker. Walker is cutting $300 million from the state university system. This is popular with some conservatives because they think universities are full of liberal professors who do not prepare their students for the workplace. Such a severe cut is bound to do irreparable damage to Wisconsin universities. Evidently Walker is more concerned with appealing to Republican voters in the presidential election than in Wisconsin’s college students.

Is Scott Walker the worst governor? Don’t be too quick to judge. We have other nominees. For example, Florida Governor Rick Scott. The governor is feuding with the state legislature and the federal government. If the state does not sign up for expanded Medicaid, it will lose $50 billion from the federal government over the next decade. The legislature and the state’s hospitals want to get the money. Governor Scott’s response is to sue President Obama.

Maine Governor Paul LePage is a special case. He doesn’t just want to eliminate state income taxes in Maine; he wants to pass a constitutional amendment making state income taxes illegal. An amendment to the constitution requires approval of two thirds of the state legislature and a majority of the voters. Democratic legislators oppose the measure. If the legislature doesn’t approve it by the required two-thirds, LePage will veto any Democratic bill that passes the legislature. The merit of the bill makes no difference. If the legislature doesn’t go along with him, he will veto all Democratic bills. Something here is clearly out of proportion.

And finally, Governor Sam Brownback of Kansas. When Brownback first became governor, he pushed through some major income tax cuts, so much so that now the state has trouble paying its bills. Without a tax increase, the state will be forced to lay off prison guards, cut aid to schools, and reduce payments to health care providers and nursing homes. Brownback doesn’t want to raise taxes. The state budget for the next fiscal year includes a $400 million dollar deficit. The Kansas constitution requires the budget to be balanced. Nevertheless, rather than raise taxes, Brownback went ahead and signed the bill. It is sure to be appealed to the state supreme court. If the court rules against him, Brownback has threatened to eliminate the court by defunding it.

To eliminate one of the three branches of a democratic government undermines the very idea of democracy. He was irresponsible in eliminating taxes needed to run the state of Kansas. To further the damage by trying to dismantle the democratic form of government is unthinkable.

Based on what we have seen so far, Sam Brownback seems the very worst of a bad lot. Maybe you can think of some other governors who deserve to be added to our Rogues Gallery.

Saturday, June 6, 2015


At last count there were 57 candidates running for the Republican nomination, but just a handful of Democrats. The RNC is thinking of renting a large hall just for the candidates so that all of them can get into the debate. There won’t be enough room for an audience, so they will have to televise the show. Most of the possible Democratic runners seem to be afraid that they have no chance against Hillary. Lincoln Chafee just threw his hat into the Democratic ring. He was a Republican until he became an independent, but he has turned into a Democrat for the race. Word on the street has it that he was going to call himself a Socialist until he found out that Bernie Sanders had already done that.

Where is Carl Perrin in all this? He has not been pursuing a very aggressive campaign, but lately Ben Carson’s example has been inspiring Perrin. In the 16 months since Carson began making presidential sounds, he and his wife have earned between $8.9 million and $27 million. All this comes from speeches, books, and corporate boards. This sounds pretty good to Perrin. As an English professor he is used to making speeches.  His lecture on some of the finer points of grammar should go over big. He already has the books, including one made up of excerpts from his blog on his 2008 campaign: My Run for the White House or How I Tried to Save Cheap Beer for America. He wouldn’t mind sitting on some corporate boards. All he would have to do is sit there and look wise. He’d be good at that.

The main reason Perrin is running is to get the money. If he could make a pile of dough without going to Washington, that would be okay with him.