Saturday, October 24, 2015

NEW ASSAULT WEAPON

A 14-year old girl in Henrico County, VA, could be charged with assault and battery after she threw a baby carrot at her middle school teacher. School authorities charge that the girl used the baby carrot as a weapon in an assault on the teacher.

Presidential candidate Dr. Ben Carson said if someone tried to assault him with a baby carrot, he would not just stand there and take it. He would urge the miscreant to throw the baby carrot at someone else, Hillary or Donald perhaps.


Congressman Gerald X Pettybone meanwhile urged legislation requiring all baby carrots to be registered with the proper authorities.

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

SECRET REPUBLICAN STRATEGY


    For the past month or so Donald Trump has surged to the top of the polls for the Republican nomination. It is clear to thinking people that the Donald is terribly unqualified to be President of the United States. He is a racist, a mysoginist, a narcissist, and a bully. He doesn’t have any policy proposals. What he says about issues is clearly off the cuff rather than carefully reasoned. He has insulted many individuals and groups of people. He said that McCain is not a hero, just someone who happened to get captured, even though McCain was captured because his plane was shot down, and he refused to get out of “Hotel Hanoi,” where he had been tortured, when he had a chance. How can anyone think Donald Trump could be President of the United States?
    The secret is: Of course Trump could not be President. However, most of the other Republican candidates are not credible presidential material either. Carly Fiorina laid off tens of thousands when she was CEO of Hewlett-Packard and eventually fired from her job, but at least she didn’t go bankrupt three times, like Trump. Some of the “facts” that she rattled off in the debates weren’t exactly accurate, but at least she prepared for the debates rather than making off-the-cuff remarks. In her campaign for the Senate, she made fun of her opponent’s hair. Jeb Bush may not seem to have a lot of energy or be the brightest bulb in the pack, but at least he seems to be a compassionate, reasonable man. Scott Walker may be the least qualified, but even he wouldn’t be as bad as Trump. Walker has shown more good sense than he usually does by dropping out of the race. Ted Cruz wants to try to shut down the government again, but at least he isn’t calling Mexicans murderers and rapists.

    None of these Republican candidates look very good if you take a careful look at them, but at least you can say of any of them, at least they aren’t as unqualified as Donald Trump.