CANDIDATES ANNOUNCE FUNDS RAISED
Several presidential candidates have announced how much money they have raised during the first quarter for their campaigns. Hillary Clinton is way ahead with $26 million, followed closely by Barack Obama with $25 million and John Edwards with $14 million. At the end of the line but still in the race is our favorite candidate, Dr. Carl Perrin. Perrin told our reporter that he had $7.13 in his campaign treasury. That included two IOUs, one for 50 cents and one for $1.25. Almost a dollar of the money is in returnable bottles from the state of Maine. "I’ll be going to Maine this summer," Perrin said. "I’ll redeem the bottles then." He also raised quite a lot by searching under the cushions on his couch. Perrin added, "None of this money comes from special interests. When I am elected, I will be beholden only to the people of this great country."