Monday, January 7, 2008


Democratic candidate Dr. Carl Perrin charges political dirty tricks. On the eve of the New Hampshire primary, where Perrin hoped to triumph because of his long-time connections with the state, someone has been passing around flyers that question the former English professor’s devotion to cheap beer. “It’s a vast left/right wing conspiracy,” Perrin says. “They’ll do anything to stop me!”

The flyer has a picture of the candidate, all dressed up to go partying. In his hand he holds, not a beer stein, but a martini glass. “Is this the kind of man you want in the White House?” the flyer asks. “Perrin may talk about cheap beer, but if he gets elected, you can bet wine will be served at every White House function.” The paper goes on to suggest that a man who changes his mind about beer can change his mind about other things as well. “Don’t believe Perrin’s promises,” the flyer states. “He will change his mind about them as soon as he is elected.”

Perrin is stunned by this dirty trick that comes just before the primaries. He knows it is sure to hurt him. He concedes that he might not win the New Hampshire primary, but he still hopes to make a good showing. “My Sigma Tau Gamma fraternity brothers will spread the word that I liked cheap beer way back when I was in college.”

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