AN INTERVIEW WITH THE CANDIDATE

Shortly after the New Hampshire primary, we were sit down with Democratic candidate Dr. Carl Perrin.

G1: In yesterday’s vote you were lumped with “Others,” who gained only 1.1 percent of the vote. Even Dennis Kucinich beat you out with 1.4 percent. We know that Kucinich is little loopy, but you seem to have more common sense than most politicians. Do you realistically have any hope of winning the nomination?

Perrin: I admit it doesn’t look too good for me now, but anything can change. A couple of months ago who would have thought that Mike Huckabee could win in Iowa? Last summer everyone thought that John McCain was out of the race, but then he won in New Hampshire. Things could turn around for me too.

G1: After Iowa Joe Biden and Chris Dodd, two respected senators, dropped out of the race. After New Hampshire, Bill Richardson dropped out. He is a governor; he served in the Clinton administration, and he has a lot of diplomatic experience. If a man like that didn’t think he could get elected, what makes you think it is possible for you.

Perrin: That just narrows the field. Right now I’m battling Kucinich for last place. If one of the front runners makes a big a mistake, I will be ready to move on up.

G1: Some people are saying that you have just one tune in your campaign, cheap beer. Are you going to continue running on that issue?

Perrin: I’m glad you asked that, G1. My staff and I have given a lot of thought to campaign tactics. We have been appealing to beer drinkers, but now we realize people who don’t think of themselves in those stereotypic terms. They think of themselves as Americans who just happen to like cheap beer. We are going to continue to appeal to that bloc, but we are also going to reach out to other natural constituencies.

G1: Such as?

Perrin: Senior citizens for one. Older Americans know that I will try to fix Bush’s Kafkaesque medication plan with its donut hole. Some seniors are just barely getting by on Social Security. When they reach the donut hole at the end of the year, their expenses for medication come to hundreds of dollars a month. I will fix that.

Another natural constituency for me is teachers. We need to do something about No Child Left Behind, so teachers don’t have to spend half the year teaching for a test.

G1: That’s all very commendable, Mr. Perrin, but how do you expect to get people to come out and vote for you.

The rigors of the campaign show on Perrin’s face as he gives a weary smile: It will be like an epiphany, when voters, one by one, realize that I am the man they want in the White House.