Dr. Carl Perrin spent a half a century trying to save Western Civilzation by teaching thousands of college freshmen important stuff, like the difference between its and it's. Now he is ready to go on to bigger and better things.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
PERRIN ASKS FORGIVENESS
Democratic candidate Dr. Carl Perrin asks the nation’s beer drinkers for their forgiveness. Confronted with a picture of him holding a martini, Perrin confesses that he did indeed have a couple of martinis. But even while he asks for forbearance, he tries to excuse it, saying, “It was New Year’s Eve, for gawd’s sake.”
Pushed by reporters, Perrin confessed that he occasionally has a glass of wine, but he insisted that when he drinks wine, it is cheap wine. “I’m not a wino,” he declared. “My drink of choice has always been cheap beer.”
Perrin went on to talk about how he drank cheap beer in the army, in college, and ever since. Nevertheless, some of his supporters are beginning to have doubts. Herman Shinklemann of Dover, New Hampshire, said, “I really believed in Perrin. He seemed like a regular, beer-drinking guy, but I just can’t help but wonder if he is a secret wine-drinking snob. I was going to vote for him in the primaries, but I ended up voting for Mike Huckabee instead.”
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