CHENEY ENDORSES A DEMOCRAT

Dick Cheney has endorsed Democrat Dr. Carl Perrin for the presidency. The vice president conceded that he doesn’t agree with Perrin on every issue, but he went on to say, “Perrin is a good man. He has a good head on his shoulders. I know that while he is in office, he will do what is right for the country.”

When Perrin heard of the conservative Republican’s endorsement, he was outraged. He commented, “Cheney says he doesn’t agree with me on every issue. It would be more accurate to say that we don’t agree on ANY issue. Does he want people to think that I believe we should drop a bomb on Iran? Or maybe that water boarding is an OK thing to do? Maybe he thinks I believe we should get rid of entitlement programs like Social Security and Medicare.

Cheney is insane, Perrin insisted. “An endorsement from Darth Vadar is a kiss of death. He knows damn well that we don’t agree on anything. He is trying to embarrass me in this endorsement. He knows that his unpopularity will rub off on me if he says I am OK. I am convinced it is part of a vast right-wing conspiracy.”

Political insiders believe that the Cheney endorsement was done deliberately to make liberals question Perrin’s position on crucial issues. “It’s a political dirty trick,” said Perrin campaign manager Aristotle Mongoose. “The Republicans have targeted Perrin because, even though he is behind in the polls and in fund raising now, they know he will be moving up soon, and they know he will be the hardest to beat in the general election.”