Today we interviewed Democratic candidate Dr. Carl Perrin. We asked him what was the most difficult part of campaigning.
“I hate it when those people ask all the questions,” he said. “I have a few questions myself. It’s like I’m interviewing for a job, and I wonder about the benefits. I know the salary is good, and you get free rent, free medical, and free transportation, etc. All that is fine, but what about groceries? I know my wife wouldn’t have to stand in line at the supermarket or do the cooking or stuff, but who pays for the groceries? I mean if I have the Queen of England or the King of France over for dinner, who pays for the grub? And what about when I have dinner with just the family, do I have to pay for that food out of my presidential salary? I don’t hear any of the other candidates asking questions like that.
“I also wonder about buying personal items, like tooth paste and underwear and stuff. I don’t suppose the president goes to WalMart to get things like that. Does he send someone out with a shopping list or something? I’d like to know.
“Of course I do a lot of shopping online anyway. I guess I could still do that, but I wonder about my email address. I now have an email address of drcarlperrin@etc. I wanted to use just my name: carlperrin@etc, but someone had already taken that. Isn’t there a law against that, like identity theft or something? Anyway, since someone else had used my name, I went with the drcarlperrin.etc. I’m wondering, though, when I become president, maybe I can use prescarlperrin@whatever.com. You ask, suppose I am not elected? That seems very unlikely, but if does happen, I am still president of the computer club at my retirement village, so I could still be prescarlperrin@whatever.com “
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