Tuesday, October 16, 2007

UNDERDOG

A recent article on Yahoo News looked at the second tier candidates: Republicans like Mike Huckabee and Ron Paul, Democrats like Bill Richardson, Joe Biden, and Chris Dodd. The gist of the article is that any of these men could surprise us between now and February. Some of them are moving up through the pack. Ron Paul raised $5.1 million this summer. Biden or Dodd could split the anti-Hillary vote, weakening Brack Obama and John Edwards.

Some of the candidates could become running mates with the anointed one. Conservative Mike Huckabee could balance Guiliani’s moderate/liberal image. Richardson would attract a lot Hispanic votes.

The candidate who was entirely overlooked in this article is Democrat Dr. Carl Perrin, one of the most highly qualified candidates to come along in decades. (This is just another example of the vast right/left wing conspiracy to keep Perrin off the ballot.) Despite appearances, Perrin’s campaign treasury keeps growing, mostly through the collection of returnable cans and bottles in Maine. Perrin’s support in that state is so strong that he is sure to win there by a landslide.

The other candidates—of both parties—keep talking about taxes, health insurance, etc., etc., etc, but none of them has even mentioned the increased cost of beer, caused by farmers growing more corn for ethanol rather than hops for beer. When Perrin is elected President, he will make sure that farmers who grow hops will get price supports. A vote for Perrin is a vote for cheap beer!

2 comments:

chukmaty said...

I will be voting Republican for Mike Huckabee but mention of Perrin perked my interest... who is he necessarily and what are his stands?

grammaticus1 said...

Perrin Headquarters issued this statement:

Dr. Perrin is a retired English professor, so he knows about grammar and stuff. He is in favor of cheap beer. He is also in favor of good stuff and against bad stuff.