The White House has created a new office, the Balanced Status Department. The function of the B. S. Department is to give a fair and balanced view of the events within the government. The new department was given a trial run in California this past week when FEMA Deputy Director Vice Admiral Harvey Johnson gave a “news conference.” They gave reporters 15 minutes notice, and when the reporters couldn’t make it to the conference, FEMA employees asked the questions without revealing that that they worked for FEMA rather than to a news organization.
White House spokesman Xavier Phloxm said, “The left-wing, liberal press always distorts the real events, so we wanted to make sure we got the facts out before the press could give their slanted view. They really slammed us after Katrina, so this time we wanted to be sure that the American people know how effective we have been in California.”
Of course this is not the first time that the Bush White House has managed the news. From the beginning of Bush’s campaign for the presidency, local GOP organizations issued tickets to “town meetings” only to loyal Republicans. A couple of years ago in Iraq Condi Rice answered questions put to her by GIs. It was revealed later that the soldiers had been coached and given the questions to ask.
“Reporter” Jeff Gannon used to be invited to White House news conferences. He could always be counted on to ask soft-ball questions, included one that chided Democrats for being “divorced from reality.” It turned out that Gannon didn’t even work for a legitimate news agency. Rather it was a loose organization made up solely of volunteer GOP activists.
The Bush White House has a long history of shaping the way news is presented to the public. With the B. S. Department they have brought that practice to a high art.