Friday, August 17, 2007


We have our own sources in the White House who gave us the inside story on this issue. We cannot reveal his identity because he is not authorized to speak to the press, especially the alternative press, especially this blog.

In his own words:

“The reason we can’t let Congress loose on General Petraeus is that they’re a bunch of nosey parkers. They’re always trying to find out stuff that is none of their beeswax. It’s hard enough to run the country without a bunch of liberals criticizing everything the president does.

“It goes back to the vice president's advisory committee on energy policy. Before we knew it, Congress was nosing around, trying to find out who was on the committee. What a nerve! They were digging around trying to get all that personal information.

“The next thing you know, they’re trying to find out who was behind firing all those closet-Democrat federal attorneys. I mean they've subpoenaed everyone from Karl Rove and Harriet Meiers to the White House cook. They’ll stop at nothing!

“So there’s no way we’re going to let those vultures at General Petraeus. They’ll be trying to weasel out all kinds of information we don’t want them to know. Instead we’ll let them talk to the secretaries of defense and state. They know how to handle those liberals. Also for the written report, we’re going to get the information from the general and write it ourselves. That way we can put the right slant on it, just the way we do with scientific reports.”

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