FUND RAISER LEAVES PERRIN IN THE HOLE

With all these candidates raising money with $500- and $1,000-a-plate dinners, Democratic candidate Carl Perrin thought he would try the same tactic. Instead of charging $500 or $1,000 for the dinner, Perrin decided on a more informal and less expensive venue, a cookout. Our candidate doesn’t know many people who can even afford those high-priced meals, so he was going to ask for a $5 donation to his campaign fund. Participants would get a hot dog and a soft drink.

One thing you have to say about Carl Perrin is that he is a realist. He knew he wasn’t going to get a thousand people to his cookout, even at $5 a head. He bought enough hot dogs and soft drinks for 100 people. The problem was, only eleven people showed up. Half of those just happened to be walking by.

What to do with all the extra hotdogs? Perrin didn’t have enough room in his freezer for dozens of hot dogs, so he insisted that the people who came to the cookout take some hot dogs home with them.

The problem was, the food, simple though it was, cost more than the funds he raised. He spent his entire campaign treasury on the cookout. Although he didn’t raise much money, he hopes he created some good will. He spent all his cash, but he knows that his supporters in Maine are saving returnable bottles for him to turn in for cash when he goes campaigning in there this summer. In the meantime, his staff is exploring new ways to raise campaign money.

To any of you Perrin supporters who are reading this, the candidate will appreciate any fund-raising suggestions you might have.