CANDIDATE’S WIFE CONFESSES HOAX

Up to now it has been kept out of the national news, but people in the retirement community where Democratic candidate Carl Perrin lives have long heard stories about his wife Janet’s being abducted by aliens from outer space. We learned recently that it was all a hoax. Mrs. Perrin, it appears, was just out shopping and lost track of time. “I knew my husband would be worried about where I had been all that time, so I told him I had been abducted by space aliens. It was just a joke, but he took it seriously.”

“Of course I took it seriously,” Perrin said. “What was I supposed to think? I used to worry that maybe the space aliens had put some weird ideas into her head.”

Everything is fine with the Perrins now. Perrin got a cell phone for his wife. “With the cell phone,” he said, “she can call me if she’s going to delayed. Of course if I get a call, I will worry that’s it’s really from a space alien who is imitating her voice.”

Mrs. Perrin looked at her husband. “Anyway, what’s the big deal about getting abducted by space aliens?” she asked. “Lots of people have had a lot worse things happen to them.”