PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN

Outsiders think that Carl Perrin’s presidential campaign has no chance against major players like Hillary and Barack, but Perrin insists that things are better than they look. “There’s no place for us to go but up,” he says.

Perrin campaign manager Aristotle Mongoose adds, “The way we see it, Obama and Clinton will knock each other out of the race. That will leave Edwards and Perrin, and Dr. Perrin is really going to hit hard on the haircut issue. If Edwards is willing to spend $400 on a haircut, what will he do with the federal budget? You can expect tax rates to go up if Edwards is elected.”

Mongoose says that campaign funds are rising too. Perrin now has $17.43 in his treasury—and that doesn’t even count returnable bottles that can be exchanged for cash in Maine. Perrin supporters all over the state are saving these bottles for him. Maine headquarters for Perrin for President in Casco reports that they already have $11 or $12 worth of bottles for the campaign. Obviously that will have grown by the time that Perrin goes to Maine this summer.

Name recognition is growing also. Virtually everyone in Perrin’s retirement village knows who he is. Since this blog started a little over a month ago, several dozen more people recognize the name, Carl Perrin.