DEMOCRATIC CONGRESSMAN INDICTED
Congressman William Jefferson (no relation to William Jefferson Clinton) has been indicted on several charges, including taking bribes. It’s amazing that the feds were able to catch him since he cleverly hid $90,000 in cash in his freezer. (We just looked in our freezer to see if we had stashed a few loose dollars and forgotten about them, but we didn’t even find any loose change.) One of the charges against Jefferson is that he bribed an unnamed “Nigerian Official A.” Wait a minute! Nigerian officials—aren’t they the ones who send us e-mail, telling us that they need our help in getting several million dollars out of the country? They just need our bank account number so they can stash the cash in our account for a few weeks. Then for our trouble we can keep $1 million. Jefferson is bribing them—for what?
This is all so confusing. Democritic Congressman indicted for taking bribes? Democratic Congressman? Republicans are supposed to do that. Jack Abramoff bribed all those Republicans, and he’s in jail. Duke Cunningham had his hand out. He’s in jail too. Democrats aren’t supposed to do that. Democrats are supposed to be involved sex scandals, not money scandals. Democrats are supposed to do like William Jefferson Clinton and fool around with bimbo interns or Gary Hart with Donna Rice. If Congressman Jefferson can’t get involved in the right sort of scandal, he should be thrown out of the Democratic Party.