Showing posts with label scandals. Show all posts
Showing posts with label scandals. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

NEW SCANDAL FOR PERRIN?





Just a week before the Iowa caucuses, a new scandal about Democratic candidate Dr. Carl Perrin raises questions about his character. According to the story going around, in 1989 Perrin was two weeks overdue in returning a book to the Portland, ME, library.

When he was first confronted with this wrongdoing, Perrin pretended that he didn’t recall any such incident. When a reporter showed him a copy of the overdue notice from the Portland Library, Perrin couldn’t deny it. The former English professor insisted that the overdue book was merely an oversight. It had been a busy time in his life, and he had just forgotten to return the library book. “Anyway,” he said, “I made a mistake, but I paid my fine, $1.40, and it should not be held against me now, 18 years later.”

Unfortunately, the candidate could not produce the receipt that showed he had actually paid the fine, so some people are wondering if just kept the book an extra two weeks and got away with it. Did he get off scot-free just because he was a professor?

Perrin campaign manager Aristotle Mongoose told us, “Someone leaked this story just before the Iowa caucus so we wouldn’t have time to counter it before the good people of Iowa make their choice about which candidate they want. The dirty sneaks want to damage Dr. Perrin’s reputation with Iowa bibliophiles.”

Monday, June 11, 2007

DEMOCRATIC CONGRESSMAN INDICTED

Congressman William Jefferson (no relation to William Jefferson Clinton) has been indicted on several charges, including taking bribes. It’s amazing that the feds were able to catch him since he cleverly hid $90,000 in cash in his freezer. (We just looked in our freezer to see if we had stashed a few loose dollars and forgotten about them, but we didn’t even find any loose change.) One of the charges against Jefferson is that he bribed an unnamed “Nigerian Official A.” Wait a minute! Nigerian officials—aren’t they the ones who send us e-mail, telling us that they need our help in getting several million dollars out of the country? They just need our bank account number so they can stash the cash in our account for a few weeks. Then for our trouble we can keep $1 million. Jefferson is bribing them—for what?

This is all so confusing. Democritic Congressman indicted for taking bribes? Democratic Congressman? Republicans are supposed to do that. Jack Abramoff bribed all those Republicans, and he’s in jail. Duke Cunningham had his hand out. He’s in jail too. Democrats aren’t supposed to do that. Democrats are supposed to be involved sex scandals, not money scandals. Democrats are supposed to do like William Jefferson Clinton and fool around with bimbo interns or Gary Hart with Donna Rice. If Congressman Jefferson can’t get involved in the right sort of scandal, he should be thrown out of the Democratic Party.