$67.3 MILLION PANTS

You have to feel sorry for Roy L Pearson. The pants from his Hickey Freeman suit needed to be let out. He took them to Custom Dry Cleaner in Washington, D. C. Pearson, a lawyer, claims the cleaner lost his expensive pants and tried to palm off a “cheap knockoff.” Naturally, being a lawyer, Pearson sued. He devised a formula based on the consumer protection law that said he was due $18,000 a day to recompense him for his loss. Since the conflict had gone on for over four years, Pearson argued that he is due $67.3 million. He claims he is symbolically representing the underdog (like himself), who is being taken advantage of by greedy merchants. As he told how the dry cleaner tried to pass off the cheap pair of pants, he began to cry in court. And who can blame him? He asked for a recess and left the courtroom wiping away his tears. It was really sad. But you have to admire men like Pearson who are willing to stand up for what is right.

When prominent academic Dr. Carl Perrin read about the pants caper, he wondered, just for a second, if he could sue his dry cleaner if they lost his pants. Perrin is a professor, not a lawyer, so he wouldn’t think of suing for $67.3 million, but ten or twelve thousand sure would come in handy. Anyway, Perrin doesn’t own a thousand-dollar Hickey Freeman suit. He took the suit that he had bought at Burlington Coat Factory for $125 to the local dry cleaner.

A few days later Perrin went back to pick up his suit. The suit was there ready for him, pants and jacket. There was no question about the pants being a cheap knockoff because the whole suit was cheap when he bought it. He paid the dry cleaner and took the suit home. How are you going to sue people if they don’t cooperate?