TEN CENTS FOR DONALD TRUMP

Despite What Ann Coulter says, the liberal media tried to bury the issue of Barack Obama’s African birthplace. Donald Trump has pulled it to the surface again by stating, “I just say very simply, why doesn’t he show his birth certificate? Why has he spent over $2 million in legal fees to keep this quiet and to keep this silent?” Sarah Palin seconded Trump: “More power to him. He’s not just throwing stones from the sidelines, he’s digging in, he’s paying for researchers to find out why President Obama would have spent $2 million to not show his birth certificate.”

Now the Arizona legislature has passed a bill law requiring presidential candidates to prove that they are citizens before their name can be put on the ballot. Once Governor Jan Brewer signs the bill, it will become law.

While Trump seems like an ideal candidate for the presidency, we have to mention his hair. Unlike Mitt Romney, Donald Trump does not have presidential hair, especially when it gets all windblown as in the picture above. The real estate tycoon is a billionaire, so he obviously can afford hairspray. The problem is, he is so focused on crucial issues like Obama’s place of birth that he sometimes forgets to bring his hairspray with him. What he needs is a hairspray guy, someone whose sole responsibility would be to make sure that the Donald always has hairspray handy.

You can make a difference. If every Trump supporter would send just 10 cents to the candidate, he could hire an apprentice hairspray guy. Just put the dime in an envelope and send it to Donald Trump, Atlantic City, NJ.

WELL, SHUT MY MOUTH!

What a shame! Ann Coulter had a bad fall last month and fractured her jaw. Now her jaw is wired shut. Does that mean we aren’t going to be able to hear her tell how liberals are conspiring to turn the country over to terrorists? That Democrats are trying to undermine the moral character of the country? That progressives are planning to sell out the nation? Who is going to tell us that we are going to hell in a hand basket now that the Democrats are going to gain power in Washington? Is this the end?

I almost forgot. We still have Sarah. Yes, Sarah Palin can tell the country that the president-elect pals around with terrorists. That when the Ruskies attack, they will hit Alaska first. That she needs some more clothes from Saks Fifth Avenue. That she is prepared to be president in 2012. Thank God. For a minute I thought the country would be in trouble without Ann warning us against the danger from liberals.

VAST RIGHT-WING CONSPIRACY?

What in the hell is going on? James Dobson, founder of the conservative Focus on Family, said “I would not vote for John McCain under any circumstances.” Rush Limbaugh said, “If McCain or Huckabee gets the nomination, it will destroy the GOP.” Ann Coulter said that she would vote for Hillary Clinton rather than John McCain. Are all these right wingers suddenly in favor of Hillary, or are they unwilling to forgive McCain for some of his moderate positions on various issues?

Perhaps the strangest semi-endorsement from the right wing for Mrs. Clinton comes from Richard Mellon Scaife. When she referred to a vast right-wing conspiracy during Bill Clinton’s administration, Scaife was the chief money man behind that conspiracy. He donated $1.8 million to the conservative American Spectator magazine to dig up dirt about Bill Clinton. Now Scaife’s paper, The Pittsburgh Tribune-Review, invites the New York Senator to come for an interview and Scaife sits in on the interview. He came away with a favorable impression of the Democratic candidate, saying that she “exhibited an impressive command of many of today’s most pressing domestic and international issues.” Her answers, “were thoughtful, well-stated and often dead on.” The billionaire agreed with the senator that the federal government had bungled Katrina. They also saw eye to eye on the need to pull our troops out of Iraq.

What are Scaife’s motives in all of this? Does he find her position on issues closer to his own than McCain’s positions? Or is he trying to promote her candidacy because he thinks she would be easier to defeat Barack Obama in the general election?

WHO WILL BE VICE PRESIDENT?

After yesterday’s primary elections, John McCain is definitely out front. People are beginning to wonder, if he wins the nomination, whom will he pick as running mate? He and Romney have a clear dislike for each other, so that doesn’t seem a likely combination. What about Mike Huckabee? The former Arkansas governor and Baptist minister would appeal to some of the social conservatives that have doubts about McCain. As governor, however, Huckabee seemed pretty moderate. Conservatives who consider McCain too liberal would probably think the same of Huckabee.

On the Democratic side, the race is still open. Neither Obama nor Clinton has a clear advantage here. The question still remains. No matter which of them wins the nomination, whom would he or she choose as a running mate? The New York Times ran a list of possible running mates for all the candidates still left in the race. For the most part, the people mentioned in the article were not well known. It is hard to see how most of them would bring many votes to the presidential candidate in the general election.

This is why Hillary Clinton and John McCain have come up with a daring strategy. All of this is very hush hush, but we have reason to believe it is true. Just yesterday, as we reported in this blog, Clinton and McCain both switched parties. The news strategy is for both of them to switch parties again! They will run together as Independents. The plan makes sense because the two have long been friends. Clinton could still get the Democratic nomination, but she could lose it. If Obama wins, it doesn’t seem likely that he will offer her the second spot on the ticket. Some conservatives, like Ann Coulter, have said that they would vote and campaign for Clinton if McCain is the Republican nominee. Clinton will pick up the ultra-conservative vote, while McCain will appeal to Independents and Democrats who don’t like Hillary. It will truly be a dream team.

Which one will run as president, and which will be the vice presidential candidate? That hasn’t been decided yet. They will work that out after they find out who has the most delegates.

CLINTON AND McCAIN SWITCH PARTIES!

In a stunning turnaround, Senators Clinton and McCain switched political parties! It all started last week when ultra-conservative writer Ann Coulter stated on “Hannity and Colmes” that she would support Clinton over McCain. She even said that she would campaign for the New York Senator if McCain won the Republican nomination.

Yesterday conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh said, "McCain will kill conservatism as a dominant force in the Republican Party." Other conservatives got into the act. James Dobson, founder of the Colorado Springs-based Focus on the Family, said, "Speaking as a private individual, I would not vote for John McCain under any circumstances." Other conservatives have spoken out against the Arizona senator as well.

Conservatives say that McCain is not a true Republican. He voted against the Bush tax bill in 2001 and 2003. He also supported campaign finance reform and a immigration bill that would allow illegal aliens to become citizens.

Independents and even Democrats, on the other hand, love the Vietnam veteran. Even moderates and liberals who disagree with him on the issues, admire him as a man and think he would be a great leader. To insiders, then, it comes as no great surprise that John McCain said to Republicans, “If you don’t like me, to hell with you. I’m going to run as a Democrat.”

Where most people, even liberals, like John McCain, few people like Hillary Clinton, the person. Most Democrats admire her and respect her ability, but they don’t really like her. They don’t think she is authentic. Where McCain is known for his straight talk, Clinton is not completely trusted.

She speaks of her experience, but some people wonder if she learned the right lesson from that experience. Her biggest defeat was her healthcare plan back during her husband’s first term in office. Was she too secretive, too insular in that battle? Might the health care plan been a triumph if she had managed it better? Some Democrats are leery of her, especially now that Ann Coulter has promised her support. Can you blame Mrs. Clinton for considering a switch to the Republican party?

VOTE FOR PERRIN

If you live in one of the states that will be holding a primary tomorrow, you have a wonderful opportunity to vote for Carl Perrin, a man of the people. While Perrin’s name will not appear on the ballot in any of these states, nothing will stop you from writing his name in.

We understand that both Ann Coulter and Rush Limbaugh are endorsing and campaigning for Hillary Clinton. Are there any right-wing nuts who have not yet endorsed a Democratic candidate? What about Pat Robertson? He endorsed Rudy, but Rudy is out of the race now. Carl Perrin shares with Rudy Giuliani the distinction of three marriages. That should count for something. Sean Hannity? Imus? Anyone? Perrin knows he is a come-from-behind candidate, and he will welcome an endorsement from anyone.

When you go to the voting place tomorrow, you Democrats, don’t forget to write “Carl Perrin” in the space for write-ins. If you have some influence, the Perrin campaign could use the boost of an endorsement from a celebrity. (Not Britney Spears or Paris Hilton—We draw the line somewhere.) Finally, don’t forget, a vote for Perrin is a vote for cheap beer.

ANN COULTER TO CAMPAIGN FOR HILLARY

Ann Coulter doesn’t think the John McCain is conservative enough. On Hannity & Colmes Friday night she said if the election is between John McCain and Hillary Clinton, she will not only vote for Hillary; she will campaign for her, saying that Clinton is more conservative than McCain. She is particularly incensed that McCain against torturing enemy captives, stating that she is in favor of torture.

She went on to say that Mrs. Clinton lies less than Mr. McCain, and she’s smarter than he is. “He is very, very bad for the country,” she added.

Will conservative stop at nothing? Maybe they will have George Bush or even Dick Cheney himself endorse the Democratic candidate.

IS ANN COULTER A CLOSET DEMOCRAT?

IS COULTER A CLOSET DEMOCRAT?

Every time Ann Coulter says something nasty about John Edwards, he uses her statement to raise more money for his presidential campaign. When she referred to him as a faggot, the comment helped Edwards raise $300,000. Already emails to Edwards’ supporters are including a clip of the exchange between Coulter and Elizabeth Edwards on “Hardball.” The debate, if you want to call it that, has raised more money for the Edwards campaign than any previous appeal.

We just wonder. Doesn’t Ann Coulter know how much her comments contribute to John Edwards’ campaign fund? Is she doing on purpose? Does she want to help Edwards? Is there some kind of a quid pro quo—Coulter helps Edwards raise funds; he helps her sell books? Is she a—gasp—closet Democrat?

Whatever her motivation, Democratic candidate Carl Perrin wishes that Coulter would say something nasty about him. She can even call him a faggot if she wants to. He could use the money for his campaign.

ANN COULTER SEES THE LIGHT

ANN COULTER UNDERGOES CONVERSION, BECOMES CHRISTIAN

Ann Coulter has often come to the defense of Christianity. Once she said of the Moslem nations, "We should invade their countries, kill their leaders, and convert them to Christianity." Despite this posture, even some of her supporters admit that the woman herself is somewhat lacking in Christian charity. Even they admit that perhaps Coulter was just a little over the line when she said that the 9/11 widows were enjoying their husbands’ deaths and when she referred to John Edwards as a faggot.

Edwards’ wife Elizabeth thought that Coulter went way too far when she said that she wished Edwards had been killed by terrorists. She called “Hardball with Chris Matthews” where Coulter was a guest and asked her to stop the personal attacks. At first Coulter thought that Edwards was asking her to stop talking altogether because she couldn’t talk without saying something hateful about someone.

Later she experienced an epiphany, like Saul on the road to Damascus where he heard the voice of Jesus. Like Saul, Coulter saw the light. She began weeping on the show and shouting, “I am a sinner!” She vowed that from that moment if she couldn’t say something nice about someone, she wouldn’t say anything at all.