DIRIGO

DOES PERRIN HAVE ANY CHANCE OF WINNING THE NOMINATION?

The Democrats are beginning to snipe at each other. Dennis Kucinich charges that the front-running candidates are conspiring to keep him out of the running. Elizabeth Edwards suggests that Hillary Clinton is not the best candidate on women’s issues, and Bill Clinton comes to his wife’s defense. Hillary and Obama are taking shots at each other over the issue of talking to heads of rogue governments.

And where is Carl Perrin in all this? Is no one attacking him only because so few people realize that he is even in the race? How can he possibly compete against candidates who are raising millions of dollars, while he has less than $100 in his entire campaign fund? If you talk to Dr. Perrin, you will find him extremely relaxed and self confident. You would never guess from his manner that he is way behind even Dennis Kucinich. That is because he has a plan.

In August he is going to Maine to campaign. Maine’s state motto is Dirigo, which means “I lead.” There used to be a saying, “As Maine goes, so goes the nation.” Perrin is confident that the saying still applies. He expects to do very well in Maine. Volunteers all over the state are collecting returnable bottles that will swell his campaign treasury. While the other candidates are focusing on Iowa, New Hampshire, Florida, and California, Perrin is putting his effort in Maine. As far as the rest of the country is concerned, Perrin is travelling under the radar right now. Once he gets to Maine, the other candidates will be blindsided. He will seem to have come out of nowhere and rise to the top of the charts. People in Maine appreciate cheap beer, and they know they can depend on Dr. Carl Perrin to keep the price beer down so they average person can afford it.

ANN COULTER SEES THE LIGHT

ANN COULTER UNDERGOES CONVERSION, BECOMES CHRISTIAN

Ann Coulter has often come to the defense of Christianity. Once she said of the Moslem nations, "We should invade their countries, kill their leaders, and convert them to Christianity." Despite this posture, even some of her supporters admit that the woman herself is somewhat lacking in Christian charity. Even they admit that perhaps Coulter was just a little over the line when she said that the 9/11 widows were enjoying their husbands’ deaths and when she referred to John Edwards as a faggot.

Edwards’ wife Elizabeth thought that Coulter went way too far when she said that she wished Edwards had been killed by terrorists. She called “Hardball with Chris Matthews” where Coulter was a guest and asked her to stop the personal attacks. At first Coulter thought that Edwards was asking her to stop talking altogether because she couldn’t talk without saying something hateful about someone.

Later she experienced an epiphany, like Saul on the road to Damascus where he heard the voice of Jesus. Like Saul, Coulter saw the light. She began weeping on the show and shouting, “I am a sinner!” She vowed that from that moment if she couldn’t say something nice about someone, she wouldn’t say anything at all.