PERRIN CHARGES SNEAK ATTACK

On the eve of the Ohio and Texas primaries, the vast right/left wing conspiracy unleashed a sneak attack on Democrat Dr. Carl Perrin. “They’ll do anything to stop me,” the candidate said. They know I’m the only Democrat who can look John McCain in the face and say, “Sonny boy, why don’t you leave these things to your elders?”

The attack is particularly insidious. Just a few days ago the public learned that “Surviving with Wolves” by Misha Defonseca, a memoir of surviving the holocaust and being adopted by wolves was fake. Not only was the story patently false, but Defonseca is not even Jewish. Then just a few days later, we learn that “Love and Consequences” by Margaret Jones, a memoir about growing up among street gangs in Los Angeles, is another fake. The author, whose real name is Margaret Seltzer, grew up in a well-to-do neighborhood and never did the things described in the so-called memoir.

Now people who are trying to destroy Carl Perrin’s run for the Democratic nomination are saying that he too has a phony memoir. The book in question is a grammar book called “Subject Meets Verb: A Love Story.” Perrin had the book printed and used it in his English classes at Casco Bay College in Portland, Maine. Trying to lift his book above the deadly dullness of the typical grammar book, Perrin invented some characters to use in examples in the book. The main characters are a Professor Aristotle Mongoose and his love, Miss Sweetcakes.”Mongoose and Miss Sweetcakes share a love for each other and for chocolate. The professor is described as being witty and having a “dapper mustache.” Perrin’s students always charged that Mongoose was a stand-in for Perrin himself.

It is true that Perrin never denied that charge, but he never claimed that “Subject Meets Verb” was a memoir. Now political opponents are claiming that the book is in fact a memoir and his students knew that. Political enemies further allege that Perrin was never in charge of the Chocolate Lab at Hedgehog College, and in fact never even taught at Hedgehog College. Perrin is very frustrated by these charges because they are true: He never taught at HC, but he insists that he never claimed to be Aristotle Mongoose. It is a classic dirty trick, to put a twist on the facts and distort the truth so that it no longer is true.