Dr. Carl Perrin’s supporters are in deep shock. Just a little over a month ago he was still a candidate for the Democratic nomination. Now he is running as a conservative family values candidate. “How could he do that?” people are asking. “And how can he pretend to be a conservative?”
Perrin shrugs off such questions. “There has been no change in my position,” he insists. “My first consideration has always been to do what is in my own best interest. I gave the Democrats a chance to nominate me, and they went ahead and voted for that Obama guy.”
Perrin insists that his marriage record shows his family values. “Obama is still married to his first wife. McCain has been married only twice. I’ve been married three times. You learn a lot from being in three marriages. The insight I have picked up that way will help me when I become president.
“As the Family Values candidate, I will continue to push for government support for barley. This corn ethanol thing has done more harm than good. We need to keep the price of beer affordable for working men and women.”
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