Thursday, July 3, 2008


When General Clark said that John McCain’s military service did not qualify him to be president, people were outraged. Now the same charges are being leveled at conservative Family Values candidate Carl Perrin.

We spoke to retired Master Sergeant “Stud” Adams, who said, “Yeah, I remember Perrin, that little pissant. He was one of them Yankees that was assigned to the Dixie Division during the Korean War. He was in my platoon, but before too long he got hisself assigned to the orderly room so he could sit on his ass all day while the rest of us were out training in the hot sun. Then he got hisself transferred to the personnel office and even made sergeant. He had a soft job, just sitting at a desk all day. When we would go home to Alabama, we would bring back some of the good ole white lightning. Perrin could make a good dent on that, but otherwise I can’t think of anything in his military service that would prepare him to president of the US of A.”

“Sergeant Adams,” Perrin grunted dismissively. ‘What the hell does he know about anything? I may have had an office job, but when the company took the physical fitness test after the end of training, ole ‘Stud’ didn’t pass, but I did. Not only that, but I earned an Expert Rifleman’s badge. I didn’t serve in a combat zone, but I did learn a few things in the army, and they will serve me well when I am president.”

We aren’t surprised that politicians are playing dirty games to try to knock Perrin out of the race. He is the only Independent candidate who has a chance of winning against the two major party candidates.

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