Wednesday, July 9, 2008


Jason K. Burnett resigned from his position in the Environmental Protection Agency after representatives of the Vice President’s office started censoring EPA reports. Dr. Julie L. Gerberding of the Center for Disease Control and Prevention testified that global warming could have damaging consequences to human health. The guys from Cheney’s office cut out references to possible harm to health caused by global warming.

A spokesperson for the VP said, “They got it all wrong. We were just trying to cut some of the deadwood out of the report. Think of all the trees we saved by cutting a few thousand words out of the final draft. Not only that, but we figured, why get people all upset worrying about something that hasn’t happened yet anyway.”

Meanwhile, Oklahoma senator James M. Inhofe said, “This global warming crap is just a hoax that liberals are trying to foist off on the country so people will vote for Democrats.”

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