Thursday, September 25, 2008


Family Values candidate Dr. Carl Perrin is suspending his campaign until the economic crisis is taken care of. Although he is not sure what he will do about it when he gets to Washington, Perrin says he isn’t going to run around campaigning when the country is in a crisis. “I’m going to think of my country first and do the patriotic thing,” he says. “I’m even pulling my political ads for the time being.”

One reporter pointed out that rumor had it that the Perrin campaign didn’t have enough money to pay for any more ads. The candidate fixed the reporter with an icy glare. “Don’t bring up irrelevant issues,” he said. “Even if I had hundreds of dollars in my campaign fund, I wouldn’t be spending the money and time when my country needs me.”

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