WHERE DOES HE GET THEM?

Rudy Guiliani already is getting advice from “Let’s bomb Iran” Norman Podheretz. Now he has an endorsement from “Let’s assassinate Hugo Chavez” Pat Robertson. Guiliani may be grateful to have the endorsement of Evangelical Christian Pat Robertson because conservatives have reservations about the thrice-married New Yorker, who was in favor of abortion and gay rights until he began running for president, but we wonder how many rational people will be swayed by the Robertson endorsement.

According to Robertson, he was able to pray several hurricanes away from his Virginia Beach, Virginia, headquarters. He also agreed with Jerry Falwell when the latter stated that 9/11 was caused by “pagans, abortionists, feminists, gays, lesbians, the ACLU, and People for the American Way.” Robertson stated at one point that it might be a good idea to assassinate Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez. Then he charged that the people of Dover, Pennsylvania, had rejected God by voting out of office the school board that supported the teaching of intelligent design in public schools.

Robertson has some background in politics; he ran for the presidency himself in 1988. Perhaps Rudy could choose Robertson as a running mate. Maybe Pat could use his powers to do something about Ahmadinejad. We didn’t think there could be anyone in political life much weirder than Dick Cheney, but clearly we were wrong.

LEE BOLINGER FOR PRESIDENT

What a minute! Lee Bolinger already is president—of Columbia University. Former English professor Dr. Carl Perrin has long suspected that academic administrators are chosen for something other than intelligence. Lee Bolinger’s actions have done nothing to change that suspicion. He has been showing remarkable incompetence recently, first in inviting one of the world’s biggest nutcases to speak at the university. He did this supposedly in the interest of freedom of speech. Then while he introduced wacko Ahmaninejad, he insulted the man, who was now his guest! We have no objection to insulting Ahmaninejad, but it is poor form, to say the least, to do so while he is your guest.

We can’t help but be reminded of another president who has screwed up everything he has ever touched. Bolinger could never hope to achieve the exalted degree of incompetence shown by George Bush, but he shows promise.