OBAMA IS BEHIND THE BIRTHER CONSPIRACY

Side show performer Donald Trump declared himself proud to have brought the birther conspiracy to a head which resulted in President Obama’s displaying his birth certificate on live television. Sarah Palin had called questions about the president’s birthplace “fair game.” After the president showed the birth certificate, Palin said that Trump had forced the issue. She warned her followers not to be distracted by that but to concentrate on the real issues.

In reference to Obama’s long-form birth certificate, Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Preibus said, “It’s maddening and I just wish the president would engage in the real issues that are affecting America.” Former Senator Rick Santorum, former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney, and House Majority Leader Eric Cantor were among those joining the chorus of insisting that the president should focus on the real issues. It’s difficult to understand how these men can say such things with a straight face after all the clowns who have been braying birther bullshit. The legislature of Arizona sent a bill to the governor which called for all presidential candidates in the state prove their citizenship.

On Alan Colmes' radio show former Colorado congressman Tom Tancredo suggested that the president and Democrats had withheld the birth certificate for so long for their own nefarious reasons: “Now they very well may not want to show it because they want to propagate this whole thing that's going on about birthers. ... They may be doing it for that reason; I don't know why they don't want anyone to see it. ... They want it propagated because you know – “

Colmes responded, “It makes your party look nuts!”

The idea, according to Tancredo, is that Obama withheld his birth certificate until now simply for the purpose of making Republicans look foolish. That is not true. Republicans can look foolish without any help from Barack Obama.

REPUBLICANS ARE DESPERATE

Donald Trump is number one in the polls of potential Republican candidates for the presidency. Twenty-six percent of the people polled support him. A prominent South Carolina Republican says, "I hear more and more people talking about Donald Trump. He's got people fired up." Only 17 percent favor Mike Huckabee and 15 percent want Mitt Romney to run. Sarah Palin is losing ground . A Wall Street Journal poll shows only ten percent in her favor. Michele Bachmann is gaining, but she suffers from Palin’s foot-in-the-mouth problem.

Trump leads in the polls despite the fact that his major issue seems to be the ridiculous questions of where Barach Obama was born. A Republican chairman in New Hampshire said that Trump “is on TV making a fool of himself.” Karl Rove called Trump a joke candidate. Charles Krauthammer called him a clown.

If the Republicans are so desperate for a candidate that a plurality of them favors a joke candidate, perhaps there is a chance for Dr. Carl Perrin. Perrin campaigned in the last election on a real issue, cheap beer. Though he has not yet decided whether to enter the fray, the more he sees of candidates like Donald Trump and Michele Bachmann, the more likely he is to form an exploratory committee.

TEN CENTS FOR DONALD TRUMP

Despite What Ann Coulter says, the liberal media tried to bury the issue of Barack Obama’s African birthplace. Donald Trump has pulled it to the surface again by stating, “I just say very simply, why doesn’t he show his birth certificate? Why has he spent over $2 million in legal fees to keep this quiet and to keep this silent?” Sarah Palin seconded Trump: “More power to him. He’s not just throwing stones from the sidelines, he’s digging in, he’s paying for researchers to find out why President Obama would have spent $2 million to not show his birth certificate.”

Now the Arizona legislature has passed a bill law requiring presidential candidates to prove that they are citizens before their name can be put on the ballot. Once Governor Jan Brewer signs the bill, it will become law.

While Trump seems like an ideal candidate for the presidency, we have to mention his hair. Unlike Mitt Romney, Donald Trump does not have presidential hair, especially when it gets all windblown as in the picture above. The real estate tycoon is a billionaire, so he obviously can afford hairspray. The problem is, he is so focused on crucial issues like Obama’s place of birth that he sometimes forgets to bring his hairspray with him. What he needs is a hairspray guy, someone whose sole responsibility would be to make sure that the Donald always has hairspray handy.

You can make a difference. If every Trump supporter would send just 10 cents to the candidate, he could hire an apprentice hairspray guy. Just put the dime in an envelope and send it to Donald Trump, Atlantic City, NJ.

Not Factual

During the debate over shutting down the government, a major sticking point was money for Planned Parenthood. Republican Senator Jon Kyl thought it was worth closing the government over the issue because abortion is, “well over 90 percent of what Planned Parenthood does.” Judy Tabar of Planned Parenthood responded that Kyl’s figures were a little off. Abortion is more like three percent of the organization’s activities.

CNN contacted the senator’s office, which responded that his statement was not meant to be factual. “After all,” Kyl stated, “I’m a politician. People know that 90 percent of what I say is bullshit.” Now that’s a statement that we can believe in.

FUND RAISING

Michele Bachmann thought that the founding fathers ended slavery in America in their lifetime, thus eliminating the need for the Civil War and the Emancipation Proclamation. Despite such gaps in her knowledge of American history, the congresswoman is a formidable fund raiser. In the first 90 days of this year she raised over $2 million for her campaign for the oval office. Former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney raised $1.8 million in the same period. Bachmann raised $13.5 million for her 2010 campaign for her seat in Congress. This is the most money ever raised for a campaign for election to the House of Representatives.

Barack Obama has done pretty well in fund raising also. He collected $750 million in his campaign for the White House. He is expected to raise well over $100 million in the first six months of this year. One fund raiser includes a $35,800-a-plate dinner in San Francisco.

Where does that leave former presidential candidate Dr. Carl Perrin? While Perrin has not yet committed to another run for office, he knows that to keep his options open, he must give some thought to campaign funds. Although Perrin was an outstanding candidate, he was not very good in raising money in his run for office. During his 2008 campaign he raised a couple of hundred dollars. Most of that came from supporters in Maine who cashed in returnable cans and bottles to help pay for his campaign.

Although a couple of hundred bucks doesn’t sound like much compared with politicians who raised hundreds of millions, Perrin insists he doesn’t need a lot of money for his campaign. Some say he is too cheap to pay for advertising, but the candidate relies on his blog to get his message out to the real people, the beer drinkers who appreciate his effort keep down the price of beer. Most of Perrin’s campaign funds were spent in fact on cheap beer for the candidate himself. He wanted the public to know that he really believed in the issue that formed the basis of his campaign.

Perrin is asking his supporters in Maine to start taking those cans and bottles to the redemption centers and send any contribution to "Perrin for President" headquarters in Auburn, Maine. He likes the idea of using a meal for a fund raiser. He is thinking about a luncheon of a peanut butter sandwich and a can of cheap beer for $4.90.