TRUMP TRUMPS OBAMA

In a stunning move Donald Trump questioned whether Barack Obama had been born in the United States. He asked why the president could not produce his birth certificate. In this move he showed that if he is elected president, we can depend on him to address the really serious issue confronting the nation.

Then, to rub it in, The Donald produced a birth certificate showing he had been born in Jamaica Hospital in New York. Unfortunately, the document he had was issued by the hospital itself. The only official certificate of birth must come from the New York Department of Health.

As of now, we have no proof that reality show star Donald Trump was born in the country. For all we know, he could have been born on another planet.

IS PERRIN REALLY SERIOUS?

We hear that former presidential candidate Dr. Carl Perrin is considering another run for the Oval Office. All we can say is, Is the man really serious? Come on, he’s 80 years old. He never makes appointments for anything in the afternoon because it might interfere with his nap. He’s so hard of hearing that he misses half of what people say to him, even when he is wearing his hearing aids! Finally, let’s face it: He’s boring! He wrote several textbooks about business writing and resume writing. How boring is that? He has a web site called “The Grammar Doctor. The Grammar Doctor! Can you imagine how dull that is? He didn’t get a single electoral vote in the 2008 election. Why is he wasting everyone’s time?

Consider some of the other candidates for office:

Mike Huckabee thought that Obama had grown up in Kenya. When someone called him on that misinformation, he tried to pretend it was a slip of the tongue. He really meant to say “Indonesia.”

Michele Bachmann thinks the American Revolution started in Concord, NH, and that the Founding Fathers ended slavery.

Newt Gingrich managed to shut down the government when he was Speaker of the House. He was one of the hypocritical leaders in the fight to impeach President Clinton for his misdeeds with Lewinski, while the speaker himself was cheating on his wife. However, Gingrich’s infidelity was motivated, he said, by patriotism.

Sharon Angle, running for Congress, believes that unemployment is high because people would rather sit on their asses and collect unemployment than go out and get a job. She also is against abortion, even in cases of rape or incest, because everything is “part of God’s plan.”

Sarah Palin’s incoherent prose is matched only by her ignorance of current events.

In comparison Carl Perrin looks pretty good. Despite his age, he has plenty of energy until it is time for his nap. Although a lot of people don’t know him, he did build some name recognition in his first campaign for the presidency. Finally he ran on an issue that is dear to the hearts of American men and women: cheap beer.

SHARON ANGLE FOR CONGRESS?

In 2008 Sharon Angle lost her fight against Democrat Harry Reid for the U S Senate. Before Angle’s missteps, the seat seemed sure to go to the Republicans. In her campaign, she charged that unemployed Americans were living on the dole. If their unemployment benefits were ended, they would be motivated to get a job. That was not the only position that failed to endear her to the electorate.

She was not in favor of Medicare, and she wanted Social Security to be “transitioned out.” She said that Americans were arming because they didn’t trust the government. She believed, “They're afraid they'll have to fight for their liberty in more Second Amendment kinds of ways." She told a bunch of Latino students that they looked Oriental to her. Perhaps her most astounding position was the reason she was against abortion, even in cases of rape and incest, saying it was against God’s plan.

During her campaign for the Senate, she started to avoid the press. It seems that the media were undermining her by reporting on the things she said. Now she is opening herself to the press again. She is running for Congress in Nevada. She believes she can win the primary and the general election in 2012.

We need more Tea Party candidates like Angle and Christine O’Donnell and Michele Bachmann. In them you can see the intellectual depth of the Tea Party.

PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN?

When former presidential candidate Dr. Carl Perrin flew to St. Louis in February, political insiders naturally wondered if he was taking a swing through the Midwest in preparation for a new campaign.

In answer to reporters’ questions about his intentions, Perrin smiled and said, “I used to live in St. Louis. I’m here just to visit family.”

A reporter from the St. Louis Post-Dispatch asked right out, “Are you going to run for office in 2012?”

“I’m not ruling anything out,” the former candidate replied.

Although this was supposedly a family visit, Perrin did go on a tour of one of St Louis’ better-known businesses, the Anheuser-Busch brewery. The candidate can be seen above holding one of the free beers he got at the end of the tour. In 2008 he campaigned on the issue of cheap beer for American men and women. “The only thing better than cheap beer,” he said, “is free beer.”

MICHELLE BACHMANN FOR PRESIDENT?

Michelle Bachmann went to New Hampshire to honor the state’s citizens because it was in Concord, New Hampshire, where the “shot heard round the world” was fired. Okay, so it was another Concord, the one in Massachusetts where that happened. The media jumped right on it. That should be no surprise because, as Bachmann said, "...as we know all 3,400 members of the mainstream media are part of the Obama press contingent." Whenever a Republican politician says something stupid, it must be blamed on what Sarah Palin calls the “lame stream media.”

The Congresswoman from Minnesota has also informed us that the founders of this country, "worked tirelessly until slavery was no more in the United States." Evidently that doesn’t include men like Washington and Jefferson, who were slave owners. It also misses that fact that it was about four score and seven years later before slavery actually ended.

And what was Ms Bachmann doing in New Hampshire? What does any politician do in the Granite State the year before a presidential election? Yes, she is considering a run for the presidency. Perhaps Michelle and Sarah could run together. They would be a great pair, both darlings of the Tea Party. At least Michelle doesn’t claim she can see Russia from her front porch in Minnesota. Maybe she even knows the difference between North and South Korea, but I wouldn’t bet on it.

HE DID IT FOR HIS COUNTRY

Our hats are off to Newt Gingrich. While he was attacking Bill Clinton for his little fling with the Lewinsky Bimbo, Newt was having a little fling of his own. Yes, the Speaker of the House was having his own affair with Callista, a former congressional aide, while he was still married to the second Mrs. Newt Gingrich.
However, Newt had a good reason to fall from grace. It was caused by his passion for his country. "There's no question at times of my life, partially driven by how passionately I felt about this country, that I worked far too hard and things happened in my life that were not appropriate," he said. Unlike Clinton, who was evidently just randy, Gingrich did it for his country. You have to admire that kind of reasoning.

And everything turned out just fine. Callista became the third Mrs. Newt Gingrich. They now have a great marriage. Newt has asked for God’s forgiveness for mistakes in his past.

While he was Speaker, Gingrich managed to shut down the government and attack Clinton for doing the same thing he was doing. He told his second wife that he wanted a divorce while she was in the hospital recovering from cancer. But what the hell—no one is perfect. At least he’s smarter than Sarah Palin or Mike Huckabee.

A SLIP OF THE TONGUE

Mike Huckabee criticized President Obama, stating that experiences in his youth led him to resent the West. "One thing that I do know is his having grown up in Kenya, his view of the Brits, for example, (is) very different than the average American," Huckabee said. Huckabee’s geography was a little off, since Indonesia, where Obama did spent part of his boyhood, is halfway around the globe from Kenya.

When news media pointed out this little gaff, Huckabee became indignant, saying that he was “not surprised the NY Times chose to sensationalize this story. In fact, the New York Times, the AP, and other news organizations ran with the "sensationalized story." It was a “simple slip of the tongue,” he added.

That is understandable. People are always saying “Kenya” when they mean to say “Indonesia.” And the Brits in Indonesia? Maybe he was thinking of something else. The Brits have been in so many places, it is hard to keep track of them.

Perhaps we should be grateful that this man, this presidential candidate, did not claim that he could see Russia from his front porch in Arkansas.