PERRIN RELUCTANTLY THROWS HAT INTO THE RING—
With a year and a half to go before the next presidential election, at least 37 people had announced their candidacy. And that’s just the Democrats! So prominent academic Dr. Carl Perrin figured, What the hell, why not? It’s not so much that he wants the job as that he would like to get the salary. What is it now? $400,000 a year plus living quarters, transportation, a good health care plan, and retirement benefits. No wonder so many people want the job.

Up until now Perrin had really planned on staying retired this time, but he is thinking maybe he could do the president thing part time and still get his nap every afternoon. He could do like George Bush and get a vice president who would do all the work for him, maybe one of those other 37 people running for office.

At first you might wonder, does a nice guy like Carl Perrin have a chance against all those blood-thirsty professional politicians, but think about it. Look at the competition: Hilary is the most popular, but nobody likes her. Gore and Kerry? Hey they had their chance. Mike Gravel? (Who?) Dennis Kucinich? Give us a break! Al Sharpton? Are you kidding? Barack Obama? Sure, he looks good, but the kid doesn’t have any experience.

Perrin, on the other hand, has lots of experience, including executive experience as president of the Leisure Village Computer Club. So, when you think about it, Carl Perrin for president sounds pretty good.