NEW ASSAULT WEAPON

A 14-year old girl in Henrico County, VA, could be charged with assault and battery after she threw a baby carrot at her middle school teacher. School authorities charge that the girl used the baby carrot as a weapon in an assault on the teacher.

Presidential candidate Dr. Ben Carson said if someone tried to assault him with a baby carrot, he would not just stand there and take it. He would urge the miscreant to throw the baby carrot at someone else, Hillary or Donald perhaps.

Congressman Gerald X Pettybone meanwhile urged legislation requiring all baby carrots to be registered with the proper authorities.