NUDE MODEL ELECTED SENATOR

Republican Scott Brown has been elected senator from Massachusetts, filling the seat held for many years by Democrat Ted Kennedy. Brown is a member of the Massachusetts legislature, a lawyer, and a Lt. Colonel in the National Guard. His career also includes a stint as a nude model. When he was a 22-year-old law student at Boston College he posed nude for a centerfold for Cosmo, and he won the magazine’s “America’s Sexiest Man” contest.

We’re not going to suggest that anyone voted for him because of the naked picture, but it certainly didn’t seem to cause anyone to vote against him. He gathered a lot more votes than his Democratic opponent, Attorney General Martha Coakley, who did not pose in the nude.

Former candidate for the presidency, Dr. Carl Perrin, finds this election quite instructive. In his run for office, hardly anyone voted for him. Would the outcome have been different, he wonders, if he had posed in the nude?

PAT ROBERTSON IS ENVIOUS

It is clear that the Reverend Pat Robertson is afraid that some right-wing nuts are going to get ahead of him in making outrageous statements. Of course, there are some pretty good contenders for the most outrageous quote. We have Sarah Palin with almost everything she says, particularly her fear that her parents or her baby with Down Syndrome would have to stand in front of “Obama’s death panel.” Then there is Glenn Beck with his description of President Obama as a “racist” who has “hatred for white people.” We can not leave out Rush Limbaugh who said that he wanted everything that President Obama is doing “to fail.”

Robertson tried to get back in the lead of the outrageous gang by claiming that the devastation of the earthquake in Haiti was caused by the country’s “pact with the devil.” After 9/11 the Reverend Jerry Falwell (May he rest in peace) was on Robertson's television show. Falwell charged (and Robertson agreed with him) that that attack came about because God was angry. He was angry because of "the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People for the American Way—all of them who have tried to secularize America”

What kind of sick mind blames the victim of all that death and destruction? What kind of twisted thinking looks at all that suffering and devastation and blames it on the stricken people? Don’t people like Robertson and Falwell (may he rest in peace) have any sympathy in their hearts? Don’t they have any compassion in their minds? Don’t they have any Christian charity in their soul?

CELEBRITY SPONSORS

If you’re a celebrity, you make millions of bucks for playing sports or being in movies, etc. Then, just so you won’t run out of spending money, big companies pay you even more to be spokespersons for their products.

The problem is, a lot of celebrities are super jerks. They really screw up, and it doesn’t look good for the product being sponsored. Tiger Woods had these little flings with dozens of women, and this upset his wife so much that she took after him with a golf club. Before you know it, companies that were paying him millions of dollars for sponsoring their products are saying they don’t want him any more.

Then Charlie Sheen celebrated Christmas by attacking his wife. She called the cops to protect her from good old Charlie. Wouldn’t you know, Hanesbrands had been using Sheen in an advertising campaign. The underwear company decided it wouldn’t be good for them to be sponsoring someone who tried to beat up his wife on Christmas Day, so they dropped him.

Leisure Village celebrity feels bad for those companies. He volunteered to pick up some of the slack in the companies that had sponsored Tiger Woods. Hard as it is to believe, none of those companies responded to Perrin’s generous offer.

Now Perrin has a proposal that Hanesbrands will not be able to overlook. They can use 79-year-old stud muffin Carl Perrin as their representative. Perrin is willing to pose wearing Hanes underwear. When women see him in his Hanes, they will rush out to buy Hanes for their husbands.