PERRIN RELUCTANTLY THROWS HAT INTO THE RING—
With a year and a half to go before the next presidential election, at least 37 people had announced their candidacy. And that’s just the Democrats! So prominent academic Dr. Carl Perrin figured, What the hell, why not? It’s not so much that he wants the job as that he would like to get the salary. What is it now? $400,000 a year plus living quarters, transportation, a good health care plan, and retirement benefits. No wonder so many people want the job.

Up until now Perrin had really planned on staying retired this time, but he is thinking maybe he could do the president thing part time and still get his nap every afternoon. He could do like George Bush and get a vice president who would do all the work for him, maybe one of those other 37 people running for office.

At first you might wonder, does a nice guy like Carl Perrin have a chance against all those blood-thirsty professional politicians, but think about it. Look at the competition: Hilary is the most popular, but nobody likes her. Gore and Kerry? Hey they had their chance. Mike Gravel? (Who?) Dennis Kucinich? Give us a break! Al Sharpton? Are you kidding? Barack Obama? Sure, he looks good, but the kid doesn’t have any experience.

Perrin, on the other hand, has lots of experience, including executive experience as president of the Leisure Village Computer Club. So, when you think about it, Carl Perrin for president sounds pretty good.

We have nothing but respect for former Deputy Secretary of State Randall L. Tobias, one of the few members of the Bush administration to resign for personal reasons rather than be pushed out for incompetence. Unlike "Heck-of- a-job, Brownie" or "known unknowns and unknown unknowns" Rumsfeld, who were ousted because of incompetence, Tobias quit his post so he could spend more time with his family.

He came to this decision after it became known that he had been a customer of "Pamela Martin and Associates" escort services. His private cell phone was among those found in the records of "DC Madam" Jeane Palfrey. He insisted that there had been "no sex" with the prostitutes which the escort service provided. Rather, according to Tobias, he would "have gals come over to the condo to give me a massage." What’s wrong with that? After a hard day at the office, he probably needed a massage to relax.

While he was Deputy Secretary of State, he was also Administrator of the U. S. Agency for International Development. Prior that he had been United States Global AIDS Coordinator. Part of his responsibility in that position was to oversee U. S. international HIV/Aids assistance. It was in that role that he urged sexual abstinence rather than condoms to prevent AIDS, stating, "Statistics show that condoms really have not been very effective."

We wish Randy Tobias well as he goes back into private life and spends more time with his family. No doubt his wife will be glad to have him home so that he doesn’t have to have prostitutes help him relax in Washington. We just wonder whether he used a condom when he was "not having sex" with those gals