Don't Quote Me  Chris Cristie

CANADIAN WALL

For a long time we thought that Scott Walker was pretty dumb, but his latest plan has forced us to change our mind. His proposal to build a wall between the U. S. and Canada is brilliant. It would keep all those Canadians from streaming over to border to take American jobs.

As we think about it, maybe the purpose of the border isn’t to keep Canadians out, but to keep Americans in. Some Americans are thinking about moving to Canada if somehow Donald Trump becomes the next American president. What we want to hear from Gov. Walker is how he plans to make the Canadian government pay for the 3,987 mile wall.

SEEK JUST ONE TERM?

Writing in the Washington Post, Ruth Marcus raises the issue of Joe Biden’s age. If he decides to run for the presidency and is elected, he will be 74 on Inauguration Day. Some people are worried that he will be too old and would vote against him because of his age. Marcus suggests that Biden could counteract that question if he seeks a younger running mate and announces that he will seek just one term.

Of course people have raised the same question about Democratic candidate Carl Perrin. On Election Day the former English professor will be 86. Would he consider promising to serve just one term if he is elected to the presidency? “Don’t be ridiculous,” Perrin answered. “At the beginning of my second term, I will just be 90, too young to be sitting around on a rocking chair, waiting for my turn to play shuffleboard.”

TEACHERS

Republican governors running for the presidency are going out of their way to sew up the teachers’ vote. Chris Cristie of New Jersey would like to punch the teachers’ union in the face, saying, "They’re not for education for our children. They’re for greater membership, greater benefits, greater pay for their members. And they are the single most destructive force in public education in America."

Scott Walker of Wisconsin cut $300 million from the funding for the state university system. Then he gave $250 million in taxpayer funds to build a new stadium for the Milwaukee Bucks. It’s easy to understand his point of view. After all, everyone knows that liberal professors fill their students with progressive claptrap so that they vote for Democrats, Why encourage that sort of thing?

John Kasich of Ohio not only dislikes teachers’ unions. He would like to get rid of teachers’ lounges. "If I were not president, but if I were King of America, I would abolish all teachers’ lounges, where they sit together and worry about 'woe is us.'" He has a point. Since teachers have such an easy life, instead of working on lesson plans and such, they sit around in the lounges all day and plot. That’s where they come up with plans to teach secular humanism and such.

SERIOUS CANDIDATE?

Few except the most gullible believe that Donald Trump is a serious candidate for the presidency. Some skeptics are raising the same question about Democratic candidate Carl Perrin. Perrin insists that he is much more serious about the issues than Trump.

Trump’s bluster and bombast, Perrin says, are all vague, superficial generalities. He wants to build a wall between the U. S. and Mexico and have the Mexican government pay for it! No word about how he going to do this. No details. No specifics. It is obviously never going to happen.

He is going to send all illegal Mexican aliens back to Mexico. There is no thought to how that would disrupt the American economy or how he would find all the millions of illegal aliens or move them back to Mexico. If any news person presses him for particulars, Trump becomes belligerent.

Perrin, on the other hand, has one main issue: cheap beer. It all started when farmers began to plant more corn so that it could be made into ethanol. Land that had previous been planted with barley is now used to grow corn. Since there was less barley for making beer, the price of beer began to go up, making it more expensive for the average American.

Perrin wants to solve this problem by having the government provide price support for barley. It would be good for farmers, good for the economy and good for six-pack Joe. Here is a workable, detailed plan for keeping the price of beer low for working Americans. Perrin is serious about keeping beer affordable for the people of this great country. This is not a position Perrin arrived at in time for a political campaign. Perrin has always been serious about cheap beer. 

HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS

Donald Trump has a curious way of making friends. According to him, Mexicans in the U.S. are murderers and rapists. John McCain is not a hero because he was captured. Anyway, McCain is a dummy. President Obama is incompetent. Karl Rove is a loser, as are his opponents in the contest for the Republican nomination.

Trump’s opponents are not just losers, but John Kasich is desperate, Rick Perry needs new glasses, and Lindsay Graham is a stiff. Trump said this as he gave out Graham’s phone number on television. Politicians can be bought. He gave a lot of money to Rand Paul as well as to the Clinton Foundation. Because of that gift, Hillary was forced to come to Donald’s wedding.

Reporters are a dishonest lot. Fox news anchor Chris Wallace is living in a dream world. Debate moderator Megyn Kelly asked him some tough questions because she was having her period. He has called women “fat pigs, slobs, and animals.”

Clearly Trump can charm the socks off anyone. If he keeps going, it won’t take long to alienate everyone who has missed his venom so far. 

Donald's admiration for Sarah