THE WORST JOB IN THE WORLD

The worst job in the world has to be press secretary for Donald Trump. Day after day poor Sean Spicer has to get up and try to paper over lies so outrageous that they would make Baron Munchausen blush.   What’s worse is that poor Sean is appallingly unsuited for the job. What you would need for the job at the very least is a sense of humor, which poor Sean doesn’t seem to have.

Edwin Edwards has the ideal personality for Sean Spicer’s job. Edwards served one term as a congressman from Louisiana, four terms as governor, and eight years as an inmate in a federal prison for corruption. Edwards is larger than life and full of joie de vivre. 

He said of an opponent in the election of 1983: "David Treen is so slow it takes him an hour and a half to watch 60 Minutes." In the election of 1992, his opponent was David Duke, a leader of the Klan. Edwards said of Duke: "The only thing we have in common is we’re both wizards under the sheets." In the election someone charged him, married at the time, with sleeping with six difference women in one night. He replied: "No, it wasn't that way. He (the author) was gone when the last one came in." 

Recently a voter came up to him and said, “I hate Democrats, but I’m voting for you,” the woman said. “All y’all steal. But you were honest about it. You were gambling, you said you were gambling. You didn’t sneak around, hide nothing. You never took from the taxpayers, just from the fat cats.” Asked why Louisiana voters seem so willing to forgive Edwards his past transgressions, the woman said, “Well, he’s one of us.” Then she hugged Trina [Edwards’ 35-year-old wife], imploring, “Don’t let this weasel get away.”

Anyway, Edwards isn’t going to take a job working for Trump. At 86 he thinking of running for Congress again.

DEATH NOTICE

We are sad to inform you that truth has died in Washington. Funeral services will be held next Thursday at a church to be announced. The passing had been expected for some time because truth has been fading away for years.

Politicians are not particularly known for their veracity. (“I did not have sex with that woman, Miss Lewinski.”) But of late political aversion to truth has become stronger than ever. Take for example, the President of the United States. Years ago he spread the word that Barack Obama had been born in Kenya. It did not matter that it was an outright lie. Donald Trump kept repeating it for years.

It would take a book to list all of the falsehoods Mr. Trump uttered during the campaign, but one of his first was typical: He had seen thousands of Muslems in New Jersey cheering with the planes hit the twin towers in New York. It did not matter that the event never happened. Trump’s proof was that many of his followers claimed that they had “seen” the same thing.

Winning the presidency did not cure the Donald of his “little fibs.” The day after the inauguration Donald accused the press of lying about the size of the crowd at the inauguration, claiming that it was larger than reported by the media. The National Park Service tweeted pictures of the crowds at Trump’s and at Obama’s first inauguration. The pictures clearly showed a lot more people at the Obama event. Shortly afterwards the Park Service’s twitter account was deactivated.

Who really cares about which event had the biggest attendance? Nobody except Honest Donald. He cared enough to have his press secretary, the hapless Sean Spicer, berate the press for their “dishonest” reporting. Why would anyone quibble about statements that are so easily disproved? Is Donald’s ego so fragile that he cannot stand the thought that Obama’s inauguration might have attracted a larger crowd than Trump’s own?

When Spicer’s “facts” were easily shown to be untrue, Kellyanne Conway came to his rescue, stating that Spicer had cited “alternate facts.” “Alternate facts” occur when someone doesn’t like the real facts, so just makes up something that he likes better. In some circles, alternate facts are known as lies.

One of the reasons that there is so much resistance to the Trump presidency, besides the fact that he probably had some unwarranted help, is that Hillary got almost 3 million more votes than he did. Honest Donald got tired of hearing about this, so he claimed, untruthfully, that he would have won the popular vote had there not been so many illegals voting for Hillary.

If you’re looking for the truth coming from Washington, you’re going to have to wait at least four years.